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Writer's pictureChristine MacInnis, LMFT

IS IT TRUE OR ARE YOU JUST TELLING YOURSELF A STORY?




Has this happened to you before? A situation occurs, but you are not sure what happened. So you do what humans do. You fill in the missing pieces based on prior experiences, information available, your own biases, and internal dialogue. And the story becomes your truth. But what if you are wrong? Here is one story of how creating the story can occur and how off-base our conclusions can be.

Upon coming to my trainer Andi's home gym one morning, I noticed a whole take-out meal of trash, including a crumpled soda can, under her tree on her cute lawn above. I went into her yard, and we grabbed her garbage can and cleaned up all the leftovers. We both speculated. Andi thought it must have been an un-homed person who saw it as a spot to enjoy a late evening meal. I thought it was a teenager. They enjoy their food, hang out, and don’t always clean up. The stories went on. What time did it happen? And why here at the end of her hidden cul de sac? It’s really out of the way.

After we finished our workout, Andi checked her camera and texted me after the findings.

So, which story was correct? Who enjoyed the meal? I was so sure I was right about my teenager theory.

Plot twist! It was a coyote! He dragged it all, including the soda can from the alley around the corner. It looked so much like a human had dined and dashed!

Moral here? Be careful when creating a story when you don’t have all the facts. We do it all the time. We don’t have all the pieces of what occurred, but we will add our details. In this case, we just had a good laugh over it. However, in real life, creating the story can cause significant disagreements and rifts in relationships. It can cause problems that are not even there. And many times, it comes from a place of trauma or attachment issues left over from childhood, and it's not even real. We create the story. Don’t let a relationship be ruined by speculation. Talk it out. Ask questions. Avoid jumping to conclusions.

Because no one suspects the coyote!

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